Coffee is the lifeblood for many college students. So when Starbucks unveiled a new way to enjoy our addiction, excitement in the air was palpable. That is, until you took the first sip of the new Hazelnut Macchiato.
Underwhelming is too grand of a word for the drink. Rather, the steamed milk, vanilla and espresso drink is just plain boring. Starbucks deemed it as “espresso artistry you can taste.” If the hazelnut macchiato were an artist, it would be the kid who glues macaroni to paper. This is no Picasso.
Calling the drink “new” is also a misappropriation. Does the newness stem from the barista drizzling hazelnut sauce instead of caramel on top of what Starbucks calls “velvety foam”? If this were true, then any drink could be considered new. Is the particular person creating a revolutionary invention when ordering an iced-double-tall-nonfat-sugar free-180 vanilla latte? I would think not.
Starbucks also promises a “crescendo” of flavors to give me a “sweet and satisfying rush.” I, nor you, will have any rush of the kind.
This inflated language by a savvy marketing team has seemed to convince most of us that this drink is something to talk about, and most importantly, that we should add it to our rotation of frothy drinks. Don’t be fooled.
For $3.90, you can only buy yourself a tall. Although this steep price doesn’t include the much-needed extra shots or pumps of real flavor, it does include the price of your dignity. I’m no stranger to paying $4 for coffee, but it has to be special — it can’t be an old drink hidden under a shiny new title.
College students know coffee. We understand coffee. We’re smart enough to realize when we’re getting duped, so I recommend that you sway away from ordering this lie of a drink. Starbucks has tricked us, ladies and gentlemen, but we can rise above.